After a brief but warm trip to Florida I came home with great expectations for our 20 week US. Knowing the placenta issues we were monitoring but also that the spotting seemed to be better had me hopeful things would be resolved. It turns out I'm not that lucky. So after taking a few days to feel sorry for myself, I realize we are at some big milestones!
Don't get me wrong I am ecstatic that the baby is perfect (of course), apparently I am the problem. More specifically that pesky placenta is the problem. Turns out I do have a complete previa; likely related to all things dating back from tricky delivery and Asherman's related. So now what? Well, fortunately I've already incorporated most of the activity restrictions that are just now indefinite. Perhaps I will still end up on bed rest, only time will tell. On my optimistic days I think it could still technically resolve, however unlikely in my case. But overall instead of worrying about that I am preventatively collecting book titles, movies, TV/radio series etc that come recommended as a back up plan in case I can not avoid it. I figure I never otherwise have the time for those extra things, so if I am prepared maybe I won't need it? Probably the hardest disappointment is that I can't spend my summer floating on the lake as I had planned, the bleeding risks/urgency are too high for me to be in the middle of nowhere. I admit to taking a day or so to feel sorry for myself, but really then I realized I could go to Florida because at that point it was considered too early for much interventions - now we are far enough along that both our outcomes are able to be managed more aggressively which is oddly comforting. And since at one point in time we thought we'd never get here, so what if I spend the summer sitting in a kiddie pool with a 2 year old? Or in the basement with the AC on high? I have more options than I once ever thought possible. So now I sit at 22 weeks (supposedly with the bean now the size of a papaya) un-planning the next few months, and really am fine with it. We'll know more at 32 weeks when we peek again.
Of course how can someone not look forward to more and detailed pictures of the baby at any point! That is really the highlight of the 20 week US. It really is amazing every time, and amusing this time as well since the little bean apparently didn't want to sit still for most of it. I thought I was crazy for thinking I could feel this one since week 15, but the US just confirmed that I'm not crazy (at least about this) - we actually have a little jumping bean. A perfect in every way, healthy, active & measuring all in the "normal" ranges jumping bean.
Additional fun is that Lydia has moved on from discussing her "baby sister and a fairy" to her baby sister and brother. No, let me be clear, we are not having twins. But somewhere apparently she has decided a baby brother instead of a fairy would be okay. She enthusiastically tells everyone that she has baby toys - for baby sister and brother. She plays her/him music, kisses him/her (right on my belly button so it can get inside), and is trying to decide if she thinks she should share her room/crib or if the baby should have her/his own since "babies cry a lot."
