I realized after reading the last entry that I didn't really explain why or how we ended up on bed rest, or in the hospital for that matter. I was going to post this after getting home, but now I'm back in the hospital again so figured I'd complete the (hopefully concise) summary. If medical details aren't your thing you may want to skim this one. Either way, I'm inpatient again and likely here to stay for a while.
To review, I was told we had a "low lying" placenta @ 16wks when we ended up in the ER with bleeding; was given light duty/activity restrictions. The intermittent spotting continued until about 20 wks. Then we had our formal high detail anatomy scan and confirmed a complete placenta previa. Since the spotting had essentially stopped at that point we continued with the light duty/pelvic rest.
Skip ahead to 24 weeks when without warning I had "significant" bleeding, which fortunately resolved relatively quickly. But considering how early this still was, the chance for it to start up again and the timing of monitoring & interventions for both me and baby, I was kept in the hospital for a full week. The first few days were a flurry of studies, meds, labs and consults as we went through the entire run down of the plan for worst case scenario which involved all the details of having to deliver at 24 weeks. I underwent a series of ultrasounds, an MRI to look closer at the placenta since the possibility of having placenta accreta (besides the known previa) not only is increased in my case, but also raises some of the risk factors surrounding delivery. Fortunately there was no evidence of that on the MRI, although no imaging study is perfect. I also received steroid injections to help the baby. Consults were with the NICU team, high risk Maternal-Fetal medicine specialists and gyn-onc surgeons (who apparently are backup in surgical cases that are "complex" which includes a potential hysterectomy at delivery in the setting of hemorrhage and disrupted anatomy due to enlarged uterus/blood vessels). Physical therapy gave me options to do while on bed rest for hopefully the following 14 wks. So like I said a flurry of information, prompting the needed emotional outlet of my last post.
Since everything stayed quiet during that week, I live quite close to the hospital, and am deemed a reliably compliant patient, they let me home on bed rest. I was home for 9 days and just getting mentally adjusted to home bed rest (ie - leaving the dishes/laundry/chores, adjusting to what I couldn't do with the family etc) when I had another "real" bleed, bringing us back to the hospital. Fortunately that episode also stopped, but now I expect to be hospitalized until I deliver. I am 27w 2d today. Short term goal has been getting to 28 wks, with the ultimate goal of getting to 36-38 wks for a scheduled C section. Of course a part of me hopes I have a chance to get home again for some time, but each day I accept a bit more that isn't going to happen.
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Thursday, May 30, 2013
Monday, May 13, 2013
Bedrest -"doing nothing really is doing a lot"
You'd think this post would just flow between the combination of new information and time on my hands. However for some reason it seems hard to put together. Maybe that's because I'm still processing it differently every day. The short story is I landed myself & baby bean in the hospital for the past 5 1/2 days, and now am officially on bed rest for the duration of this pregnancy. It has been quite the emotional flurry, changing from one moment to the next.
Now the long version...and I warn this may get really long.
I don't know why I'm at all surprised about being on bed rest now, especially with all the information & research we had done through this entire process. I knew well the potential added complexities of a post-Asherman's pregnancy. I even new early on that we may have placenta issues, and have already been compliant with my light duty restrictions. My OB even warned me she would have a low threshold for more conservative recommendations. Somehow though actually facing the reality of real bed rest is a daunting & overwhelming thing.
Initially I worried about work - that I might not be able to go back, trying to brainstorm ways to be fully sedentary but still useful from home, getting scheduling taken care of both because it is my responsibility and because I felt bad about potentially leaving my coworkers short so abruptly. Then I worried about Lydia - that she would be getting cheated from her usual routines of trips to Minocqua, the park, the zoo, having mommy at swimming and gymnastics. That kid is a crazy one though, and so far she thinks it is fun to visit mommy at the hospital and even have a sleep over on the weekend. Now I worry about my superman husband - who overnight has become full time dad & mom, while working & maintaining the house. People have been so kind in asking what they can do for me - really it will be what can people do for him! I know he can do it all, and will do so quite well, but he shouldn't have to. Then there are the relatively little worries, like how will I keep up my strength? How will I not be bored? Will I be able to pick up back at work after such a long time out? Will disability be another headache?
And of course I worry about this baby - not quite 2 lbs and too little for us to meet yet. It is one of those things I'm glad I never had need to know before, but in a short time we've learned a lot about what it means for this kiddo if delivery comes early. And how different that information is from just one week to the next at this point. When I got admitted we were 24wk 1d along - so 24wk 6d today, and making it into that next week is huge. Making into each of "the next week" is huge right now, so much that my short term goal is to keep cooking until 28 wks. The next goal will be 30wk, then 32 and so on. It also helps breakdown the calendar, when looking at bed rest in a couple weeks increments instead of 3 months, even though the ultimate goal is the same. There is no doubt this kid is a tough one, after all we've been through, to even get pregnant, to be at this point, is all part of an enormous miracle.
It was actually my OB who told me I have to remember that doing nothing right now really is doing a lot. That statement has become a bit of a mantra. I otherwise feel physically fine so far, and if I only think of that it seems silly to not be able to help with chores, go to work, etc. I'm making lists of questions to ask - can I do this or that? Not because I would push it, but because I need to know specifics. Being such a planner, this
I've had a few comments about how bed rest for a couple days would be nice. I won't lie, the first few days gave me more time to get some things taken care of than I'd had in months. Mornings aren't rushed & I've definitely caught up on news. So far I'm still awake early since that is what I'm used to, but literally get breakfast in bed (and lunch and dinner...). Someone else cleaned my bathroom and made my bed. So I won't argue with the sentiment that "a couple days of bed rest" would be nice - but this isn't just a couple days. Already this morning I woke up at 5:15, desperately wanting to sleep longer both because I'm allowed and because then the day isn't as long. I woke up bored. My highlight today has been being on the fetal monitor (the best white noise a person could ask for), planning my shower and when/what to order for meals! Yikes, I'm going to need some new distractions.
Now the long version...and I warn this may get really long.
I don't know why I'm at all surprised about being on bed rest now, especially with all the information & research we had done through this entire process. I knew well the potential added complexities of a post-Asherman's pregnancy. I even new early on that we may have placenta issues, and have already been compliant with my light duty restrictions. My OB even warned me she would have a low threshold for more conservative recommendations. Somehow though actually facing the reality of real bed rest is a daunting & overwhelming thing.
Initially I worried about work - that I might not be able to go back, trying to brainstorm ways to be fully sedentary but still useful from home, getting scheduling taken care of both because it is my responsibility and because I felt bad about potentially leaving my coworkers short so abruptly. Then I worried about Lydia - that she would be getting cheated from her usual routines of trips to Minocqua, the park, the zoo, having mommy at swimming and gymnastics. That kid is a crazy one though, and so far she thinks it is fun to visit mommy at the hospital and even have a sleep over on the weekend. Now I worry about my superman husband - who overnight has become full time dad & mom, while working & maintaining the house. People have been so kind in asking what they can do for me - really it will be what can people do for him! I know he can do it all, and will do so quite well, but he shouldn't have to. Then there are the relatively little worries, like how will I keep up my strength? How will I not be bored? Will I be able to pick up back at work after such a long time out? Will disability be another headache?
And of course I worry about this baby - not quite 2 lbs and too little for us to meet yet. It is one of those things I'm glad I never had need to know before, but in a short time we've learned a lot about what it means for this kiddo if delivery comes early. And how different that information is from just one week to the next at this point. When I got admitted we were 24wk 1d along - so 24wk 6d today, and making it into that next week is huge. Making into each of "the next week" is huge right now, so much that my short term goal is to keep cooking until 28 wks. The next goal will be 30wk, then 32 and so on. It also helps breakdown the calendar, when looking at bed rest in a couple weeks increments instead of 3 months, even though the ultimate goal is the same. There is no doubt this kid is a tough one, after all we've been through, to even get pregnant, to be at this point, is all part of an enormous miracle.
It was actually my OB who told me I have to remember that doing nothing right now really is doing a lot. That statement has become a bit of a mantra. I otherwise feel physically fine so far, and if I only think of that it seems silly to not be able to help with chores, go to work, etc. I'm making lists of questions to ask - can I do this or that? Not because I would push it, but because I need to know specifics. Being such a planner, this
I've had a few comments about how bed rest for a couple days would be nice. I won't lie, the first few days gave me more time to get some things taken care of than I'd had in months. Mornings aren't rushed & I've definitely caught up on news. So far I'm still awake early since that is what I'm used to, but literally get breakfast in bed (and lunch and dinner...). Someone else cleaned my bathroom and made my bed. So I won't argue with the sentiment that "a couple days of bed rest" would be nice - but this isn't just a couple days. Already this morning I woke up at 5:15, desperately wanting to sleep longer both because I'm allowed and because then the day isn't as long. I woke up bored. My highlight today has been being on the fetal monitor (the best white noise a person could ask for), planning my shower and when/what to order for meals! Yikes, I'm going to need some new distractions.