Random thoughts & doing nothing

The last few weeks have been random.  Busy with work and play.  I've been a little more involved/in tune with a support group for those with Asherman's which I think is a good thing, I mean that is what it is for right?  It is much more encouraging to hear the success stories from other women/families on that site, and know they've all been through the same range of emotions and required patience and perseverance.  Many of them for much longer than us.  The literature just can't capture it all.  But then the heartbreak is that much more real as well.  The frustration is real, the loss and the sadness is real.  I've been brought to tears by recent stories/postings.  Seeing people decide to "stop trying" is hard - even though that may be the right decision for them, it is hard to imagine we might be in that position at some time too.  No matter what our evolution though, I have found a need to share, educate, console and support people more than I would have predicted.  I have full praise for our doctor already, and we have so much time left ahead of ourselves.  If I can pass that along to someone else, that hope, then I think I need to.

This is also a weird time for us because we aren't actively doing anything right now.  Obviously the recurring theme has been that of waiting, always waiting for something.  I am not readily a patient person; I like to think this is a lesson I both have needed and am at least learning.  So again we wait - but this time there is nothing to do while we wait.  I don't even have medications to take this time around!  I wait for another month to go by, knowing the last scope was clear but wondering if the scarring will still come back.  We wait until I have another hysteroscopy to check my lining - I don't want to do it too soon because if it's not there I don't want to be disappointed, and just be told to wait some more.  I don't want to hold out very long because what if it's fine and we could get the official go ahead?   I think that is why I find myself on the AS support site more.  I end up researching studies/reports to find if there is anything I can do to improve the lining.  I'm much better at having patience when it is an active task.  

My work schedule is looking up, and I anticipate being able to enjoy my darling daughter and husband even more often.  I'm happy to be kept busy by my family and friends.  And am really thankful for all the support, love and prayers being sent our way.  I understand everyone has their own difficulties to conquer, and just knowing there are wonderful people that are taking some time to think about ours is uplifting.  I truly believe your collective strength has helped.