Another event: not IF but when

This past weekend brought another bit of perspective.  Everything really is relative - the term "bed rest" in general, along with monitoring, next step, next bleed, all of it.  Over the weekend I had another bleed, which considering this is now technically the 4th I would think we could get used to this.  However every event has its own circumstances, and this last time wasn't as brief as the prior ones had been. 

It all started the same, but since it continued much longer I was moved to the Labor & Delivery floor for continuous fetal monitoring, frequent lab checks and more medications.  I got another round of steroids to help the baby's lungs mature, and this time I got a magnesium infusion.  Initially this was started in case I would have to deliver, as it has been shown to help stabilize the baby's neurological status.  However it was then continued longer because I also started showing contractions on the monitor, and traditionally the magnesium has been used to help relax the uterus.  The thought in my case is the blood was irritating enough to the uterus to cause the contractions.  Fortunately that subsided as well.  The medications were no stroll in the park, and left me actually feeling "unwell" and dependent on cares for the first time I've been in here.  I couldn't eat for two days, both wasn't allowed and didn't feel like it.  I was apparently pretty close to getting blood transfusion too, but then the bleeding slowed enough they decided to hold off.  Overall the entire 3ish days are kind of a haze, between the lack of sleep, medication side effects and general anxiety over what is next. 

Tuesday turned out to be our magic day, as the bleeding subsided and we hit the 28 wk milestone.  I was able to move back into my "long term" room, and am slowly getting back on my feet so to speak.  Really I'm just going one day at a time initially being allowed out of bed to the bathroom, then a sitting shower today, being able to skip the middle of the night checks to catch up on sleep.  I'm back in my own clothes and allowed to eat with an appetite coming back. 

All of this was more assurance that this pattern will in fact continue; I will have more bleeds, need more monitoring, more treatments, etc. That much is clear. The big unknown is when the next one will be, how long it will last, and most importantly will it lead to delivering this little bean?  Each time we hear there are a number of interventions to take before delivery since the longer we stay pregnant the better.  It is a little unsettling because some of the staff seem to have slightly different thresholds for what that next step might be, and a different tolerance for how much "watching and waiting" they will tolerate.  Obviously I personally would rather wait as long as possible even if that means blood transfusions, more infusions, monitoring and less sleep.  But for now we wait, hoping the next event is some time away and that it will be a minor one, but knowing it is coming none the less.