Some things are not helpful

How do I say this - I know everyone means well. I've potentially even been the offender here to some friends and sooo wish I could take it back. But there are some things that are just not helpful. It is part of why we kept this private when we did. I KNOW things in life could be worse. I KNOW our daughter is a blessing. I KNOW we are lucky to have been pregnant once. I KNOW all these things. It doesn't change how I FEEL. Sorrow for the pregnancies we'll never know does not take away from the love and joy we get from the one we did. And in the mess of emotions, I don't need to feel guilty about our grief. I don't particularly want advice, or a pep talk, or for my friends/family to "fix it" - you can't. Real support is sometimes just a hug, a smile, a prayer.

There are a few compilations of advice for family/friends of those experiencing infertility issues out there. I've put together some suggestions, and they are on the Suggestions page on this blog.  They are summarized from our own feelings and experiences, other blog sites & support groups, and the National Infertility Association. Some apply to us personally and some don't, but I feel it is better to put it out there for everyone to think about. You never know if someone close is dealing with this, and they'll let you in when they are ready. Hopefully this can help when that happens.